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I was born in Providence in The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations. Shortly thereafter I began childhood in East Providence in the village of Rumford.
I attended Rumford Morning Nurserary School for two years. Shortly thereafter I became best friends with Vin McGinn because he had the Imperial Walker from Empire Strikes Back.
I attended Saint Margaret's School for nine years. Shortly thereafter I grew a deep and heated hatred for nuns.
I attended La Salle Academy for four years. Shortly thereafter I lost my virginity to a lesbian.
I attended Fordham University for four years. Shortly thereafter I became the University Mascot and was attacked by seven to ten Columbia University students
I reside in New York City. I assume I will die in a mugging.